so taylor swift, BTS, a goat, and the prophet muhammad all had an orgy...

nothing offends petrarch more than deep personal fragilty
if you can be profaned into anger and violence so trivially
there is a sucking void where your coping mechanisms should be
and your fandom exposes this publicly

feat. Alfred Nobel

in my religion, it is deeply offensive that people who do not look like the gibb brothers are allowed to form boy bands

i could act like a nice guy very easily
but i do not want to be a complete piece of shit

how about you rich gluttons buy small cars
which are objectively more fun
(i use the word 'objectively' advisedly)

and we spend the leftover resources repairing the harm we've already caused our brothers?

Bill Would Finally Ding Automakers’ Safety Ratings on Huge Cars That Kill Pedestrians

i am a car guy
i like cars
but when i think about it
i got into cars because i had to have one to get to work
looking back, being a car owner at 15 or 16 was actually a traumatic experience

i learned to work on cars, because i had terrible social anxiety around taking my car to a mechanic
my interest, and at times obsession with cars
in retrospect seems to me to be an unhealthy coping mechanism i developed to cope with that trauma

when i think about it
everything i enjoy about cars
is a hundred times better when enjoyed within a video game

and that is without even accounting for the egregious waste of resources
and risk of grievous injury

i have one ball, and everyone has seen it

if God had cursed me with money
in addition to bad hair

instead of money, i was blessed with ancestral sin

we are not alone in the universe
every point of light in the night sky is alive
and nearly all are miserable
find something that makes you happy
don't just cling to the first thing you found that keeps you going
wisdom 4.5 billion years in the making

i don't know about where you are from
but every day the news in LA talks about burglaries
street takeovers
smash and grabs
crime tourism

since LAPD gives their detectives no training
beyond how to wear a fedora
i'll explain what is happening

santa claus has been out there building a naughty list
recruiting on whatsapp
jurisdiction? entrapment?
We just like to hear the rat traps snap

same shit We're doing to the feds

if you don't want to help build heaven on earth
you can return to the peace and tranquility of the heaven you knew before you were born

you can check out any time you like

james comey is 6'9
but he plays for the washington generals, so who gives a fuck, y'know what i mean?

i could take this silence as evidence of my poor writing ability
or the poor reading comprehension of my current readers
and since i can choose
get fucked, idiots, you can't fucking read

but hey, if you find any results of tests i've taken of my verbal ability
could you leak those to the press?
it isn't a good look to brag about one's own intelligence
so i would simply never do that

i installed a toilet today
the old toilet wasn't really that old

we follow the same policy, especially at night
and i suspect this caused the old toilet to develop something like gout
california's hard water combines with urea to quickly create thick deposits within the toilet
and these new toilet designs can't tolerate the reduced flow
that's my theory anyway

so you get toilets that only last 10-15 years
and require 2-3 flushes to clear themselves for half that time
you can thin the deposits with vinegar or CLR
but that seems to leave a substrate on which new deposits form extremely quickly
and it is a time-consuming and tedious procedure

so while my new toilet is EPA and california approved
i'm not convinced that a complete and thorough cradle to grave analysis would show that these toilet designs actual save resources overall
and i wouldn't be surprised if big toilet and the environmental regulators are in a corrupt relationship

thought i should do a slav squat for the second pic because i am a russian psyop

anybody else think stannis baratheon is name after tin?
like stannous
the heartless tin man
He is portrayed as a brooding and humorless man with a harsh but fair sense of duty and justice whose dour demeanor is often off-putting in comparison to his two more charismatic brothers.

yes, the toilet is a toto
perhaps a japanese company doesn't make their toilets quite as bad
because they tear down houses after 25 years anyway
achieving planned obselescence by different, stupider means

[single person clapping]

all i did was start writing this song